I return a changed person. I feel fundamentally different to the core in one of the most miraculous of ways. I've gone through an initiation and have begun my life as a mom. Not only was my son born on that special June morning, I feel that I was reborn with him. There was an unforgettable moment during his birth towards the end of the eleventh hour when I was in the water birth tub. I stood up to position myself for a mighty push to move us along. As the contraction came and grew in intensity I had a feeling I may pass out. Instead, I closed my eyes, pushed, and a flash of white light, like lightening, seared through my body and overtook my being. My physical body seemed to disappear into the sensation and for an instant my baby and I were a bolt of lightening, pure energy, transforming, working and moving towards our new life.
His birth was many things to me, a collection of beautiful and intense moments that I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to experience. I had a natural, unmedicated birth like I had hoped with wonderful care from my midwife, doula, nurse and Josh, who was the perfect birthing partner. Best of all a beautiful, healthy, sweet, little boy arrived in our arms at 9:58am on June 29th ...all 7lbs 2.4 ounces of him. We joyfully welcomed Kazmir Bernard Wachtel to the world.
It's hard to believe that he has been with us for almost 7 weeks. A few people have said to me, "Doesn't it feel like he has always been with you?" Yes. It does. He fits right in and it feels natural that the pure love we feel and interest we have for his care are almost all consuming. And this is perfectly ok. Infants need this love and attention. Already, I can see that this time will fly by and soon I will wonder at how fast he has grown up. There are sleepless moments, crying spells, fussiness, dirty diapers and brief longings for quiet moments alone to attend to whatever I want but the warm bundle, sweet smile, plump, emerging fat rolls, intoxicating smell, quiet and content nursing moments give the hard moments perspective and make it all totally awesome. Truly, moments of AWE.
How did we chose the name Kazmir Bernard? We like the name for many reasons. Early in the pregnancy it was a name that came up in our conversations that we immediately both liked. Kazmir is a variation of a Polish name, Kazimierz, which means keeping the peace, declares peace. Kazimierz the Great was a 14th century Polish king. Kazimierz is the name of a historic area in Krakow founded by this king and was a thriving Jewish community from the 14th century until WWII. The name Casimir was in my family as it was my great uncle's name. We think the sound has an exotic feel and evokes Kashmir, the far away, middle eastern land. Kaz's middle name, Bernard, was Josh's grandfather's name. Through his mom and other relatives we had heard such fond, warm memories of a kind, generous man and wanted to honor him in our son's name.
Now, I'd like to introduce you to my little man, Kazmir! The pictures were taken over the last seven weeks. My, look how he's grown! We now lovingly call him "The Tank" due to his 12 lb. solid physique. He is thriving.
|First time at the breast|
|Pondering ...a philosophical moment|
|Chilling at the Goshen Ocean (photo by Katie Wachtel)|
|Bright Eyes (photo by Katie Wachtel)|
Smiles are shared with us daily! What a thrill. Thank you Aunt Katie for the Rocket Man Onsie.
|It's Rocket Man!|